The moment people realise you are in the mists of planning a wedding you are surrounded by questions and assumptions that you are living a dream, one big fairytale dream where planning is filled with nothing but pure happiness. Well I hate to sound a little negative but the reality is that planning a wedding isn’t all hearts and rainbows regardless of how excited you are to make the big commitment.
Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait for our big day and to finally celebrate the moment that we have been thinking about for the last 5 years. I’d be lying however if I didn’t confess that wedding planning has been a whole bucket of stress and we haven’t even really had a tough time compared to many other couples. The truth is, in my opinion I think wedding stress is in most cases inevitable and we shouldn’t feel guilty for being honest about it. When I started this process with Jase, we had a few ideas of what we wanted and what we really didn’t want. I honestly thought that for us planning would be a doddle, but when particular issues were making appearances I was almost too ashamed to tell people. Why? You don’t always hear a lot of couples express this side of planning a wedding and that can be a little daunting. Really there’s so much that goes into this journey that you’d be laughing (and really bloody lucky) if absolutely nothing went a little tits up before making it to the altar. Here’s a few things we have learned so far along the way.
You rely on a lot of people
Whether you plan on it or not, close friends and family tend to make a huge difference to your plans. From finances to design work and flowers or even just someone to rant to, those close ones around you make a huge difference and although we hadn’t anticipated having such a big helping hand, it’s really appreciated and has kept us sane along the way.
You aren’t in control of all elements
You may think you are and there’s certainly ways of going about a wedding to control as many elements as possible, but when you sit down and think about it you have to put a lot of trust into the hands of others.. others who you may not really know that well. Take a photographer for example or a makeup artist. I’m really pleased with the choices we have made when it comes to “wedding services” but there’s a lot of trust that you put into these people that they will do their job to the best of their ability on the day. That can be a little scary so it’s perfectly acceptable to hunt around for the right person when it comes to making the perfect cake or getting your hair just right. The first choice isn’t always the best one.
Communication can be incredibly stressful when you have a deadline for costs, RSVPs and general plans. This doesn’t even have to relate to services but people in the wedding party. You can text and call all you want but odds are you will be waiting around for that particular friend or family member to get back to you and that’s pretty annoying when your plans are on hold because of it.
You can’t plan for everything
There’s always something you didn’t think of no matter how hard you try.. and I’m a big list-maker so I’ve tried. Little things like collecting everyone’s sizes for suits and dresses or making changes to menus due to allergies etc. The list goes on and although they may seem small and insignificant on paper, these tiny additions add up. There’s only so much your brain can process at once.
It’s not all romantic
Yes you are planning a wedding and that’s lovely but let me take you back to a time when Jase and I had to sit through a mini-interview process for our notice of marriage. No one mentions this! Honestly it’s not as scary as it sounds but it is important if you want your wedding to actually take place. Let me tell you this is the least romantic element to wedding planning I have experienced so far and with this comes a check-list of vows you must decide on from really legal sounding paragraphs to ultimate cheesiness that will probably make your guests feel a little queasy. It’s quite a businessy process in the grand scheme of things.
Price is always high
We realised very quickly that the price tag on anything will almost triple when you say it’s for a wedding. It’s harsh but so true and businesses are laughing when they think you will pay an arm and a leg to make your big day perfect. Of course there are ways of sticking to a budget but if you have a particular image in your head, be warned that something will be a little off unless you are prepared to compromise.
Everything is totally spread out
This may sound ideal but for someone like me, the idea of having to pay the venue on this day and the photographer that day is just annoying. It’s handy for spreading costs but you need to write down everything if you don’t want to miss a payment or an important booking. So far we still have multiple services to pay the remainder of, dress fittings, bridesmaid shopping, suit fittings, hair appointments to make, table plans to sort and the list goes on. Without a dedicated wedding calender this would be unbearable.
So yes it’s not all hearts and rainbows but ultimately I can’t wait for the day to come around. As long as you focus on the positive, it’s not so bad but you probably couldn’t pay me to plan a wedding again any time soon. Here’s to a stress-free wedding day.